


Have I Been Jinxed?

by EscapingArtist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Everyone Is Alive, Ficlet, Gen, Muggle Culture, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Postpartum Depression, Thoughts of harm to children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10125482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingArtist/pseuds/EscapingArtist
Summary: A witch and new mother thinks she has been cursed, and turns to her mother Hermione for help.I was thinking about the place that pregnancy, childbirth and parenting young children has in the wizarding world. It led me to wonder what a witch mother struggling with postpartum depression would think was happening to her.





	

The first time it happened she was changing her daughter's diaper. "You know" the voice said "If you drop her she'll crack her head on the table." Startled she flapped her hand in the air, convinced there must be pixies nearby.

"Lumos" she whispered and the room lit up in a soft glow. Nothing except the piercing brown eyes of her baby staring back at her.

The next night it had happened again.  As she rocked the squirming, whimpering bundle in her arms the voice said "You are terrible at this. If you just got on a broom and flew away everyone would be much better off." In the morning she had rushed out without explanation and bought a sneakoscope, a foe glass and every other device the slick salesman assured her would keep her safe from dark wizards.

As she sat in the dim nursery all of the items were still and quiet. Her mind jumped and rattled around and she realized tears were sliding down her cheeks. Why was she crying? Was some jinx making her cry?

The next day was by far the worst. She was holding her daughter, enjoying the sunshine as they walked to town. They were just crossing over the bridge when the voice said, quite clearly "Throw her off." For a moment she froze "You can do it" the voice encouraged "Just throw her" clutching her baby to her chest she ran, feet pounding, breath coming out in ragged gulps. She didn't stop until she had raced into her mother's kitchen.

"Sweetheart!" Hermione exclaimed, looking at her in alarm

"Mama" she choked, shakily setting the baby down on a blanket "I, I've been cursed or possessed or something." She bit her lip and looked down, remember how her mother had told Uncle Harry that even in the wizarding world hearing voices wasn't a good thing. She continued more quietly "Something wants me to hurt my baby. I need to figure out what it is and make it stop."

Her mother's eyes were filled with compassion and she brushed the hair off her daughter's face. "Have you been crying?" She asked "Anxious? Nervous?" Her daughter nodded in shock, how had she known? Hermione kissed her lightly on the forehead and wrote out an address "Go here" she continued "Right now. Use the Floo Network. I'll keep the baby."

She looked down at the parchment. It was a name and an address. "Is this a seer?" she asked "Someone skilled in defense against the dark arts?"

Her mother laughed hollowly "More like a healer actually" she said

"A healer!" she shot back "I'm perfectly healthy!"

Hermione sighed "Sweetheart. It is more like a healer for the mind, for your brain" she continued "I love being a witch. The wizarding world has so many things but, well, they are rubbish at recognizing the needs of your mind." Her daughter looked puzzled so Hermione continued "Remember Uncle Neville? How he used to be so withdrawn after his Gran died? Well, he went to this healer, she is called a therapist, and it made such a difference."

Hermione frowned slightly "At least in the Muggle world they are starting to see the importance of mental health resources! I'm hoping I can get wizards to come to the same realization.. You'd think after the trauma of the war." She trailed off and shook her head "Please just go?"

She nodded weakly and kissed her baby. Stepping up to the fireplace she took a pinch of Floo powder and threw it into the flames.

When she stepped out of the other side she was in a very ordinary room, with two comfortable chairs and a woman writing at  desk. "Ah" the woman said, looking up "Your mother let me know you were on your way. Please, sit down." She looked at her with kind eyes "I'm a therapist" she said "like a healer that works with your mind and emotions. I'm also a witch" she laughed slightly "Late blooming, but still, so I know about" she waved her hand "all of that. Anything you tell me is just between you and me. Think of it like an Unbreakable Vow. I won't tell anyone and I'm not here to say you are good or bad, wrong or right. So, what has been bothering you?"

She rubbed her hands nervously together and cleared her throat "Um" she started slowly, not knowing where to begin. Then, in a rush, it was all coming out. The voices, the tears, the terror that she would hurt her daughter. When she finished she looked around nervously, convinced Aurors were going to step out of the shadows and lock her up or orderlies from St. Mungo's were on hand to take her away.

What she didn't expect was the voice of the therapist breaking the silence. "I'm so sorry" she said "That must have been so scary for you."

Her heart stilled for just a moment and then it tumbled and flopped while she sobbed and her whole body shook. Maybe she wasn't jinxed or cursed or evil. Maybe, she and her daughter were going to be ok.

**Author's Note:**

> Postpartum Depression is very real and can happen to anyone. You might see it with your first child, you might not have symptoms until your third. It might manifest as self-doubt, anxiety, uncontrolled crying or a host of other things. If you feel like anything is "off," or if you feel like your partner is off in any way, get in touch with your medical professional IMMEDIATELY.


End file.
